I don't know what has come over me today but today has been a pretty intense day in some ways. I woke up this morning to a text saying "you are my sunshine". That was one of the best texts I could wake up to. It was a great start to my morning. I walked to class with a smile on my face. All day I couldn't stop thinking about Will and I don't know why. A voice in my head kept telling me that I'm head over heels in love with him. I'd already known this, but today, it hit me like a ton of bricks how much I really love him and how much he means to me. It's really an overwhelming feeling. It's a good feeling, but bad in the sense that I can't share it with him in person in this moment. I wish we could be together, but the distance keeps us apart. We are so strong though, our love is real and it keeps us together. We look forward to the time we get to spend with each other.
We're back on track so to speak. When we talk now, neither of us are boring and we have things to talk about. The conversation flows and I never want it to end. This is the way I like it. I missed this.
Monday, September 13, 2010
It's been a while.
Life has been on the hectic side the past few weeks. School is wearing me out already and it's only been two weeks. I love it though. I like my classes, they aren't tough. I love the girls I'm living with. I'm living with eight other girls and they're all really cool. I've made it through the weekends though a few bad things have happened. I threw up the first Friday and lost my wristlet that had my camera, ID, liscense, room key, mail key, and $5. That was a complete disaster. I apparently left it on the bus while I was drunk. I luckily recovered it. My mom would've killed me if I hadn't.
I need to stop drinking so much. It's becoming a problem. It used to be I'd either be sober or drunk out of my mind and black out. There was never an in between. I never knew how to get to that point. I'd just keep on drinking and drinking and then black out, get sick, and be hungover for the entire next day. I don't want to be like that anymore. It's not fun. I want to remember my night and have a good time. And last night I did just that. I was tipsy and I had a good time. Though all my friends were dancing with guys and I was dancing by myself, I still had a good time. You have no idea how proud of myself I am. High five for Kerry! I even wore out heels last night. God that was a huge mistake. Heels fucking kill. Never doing that again.
And on to the one factor in my life we all know I love to talk about, my boyfriend. Things have been back and forth lately. For a while we hardly had time to talk to each other and it kind of put this distance between us. A distance that I really didn't like. Then when we do talk, we never have anything to talk about, yet on the phone and in person we can't stop talking. And oh yeah, the whole phone deal. Besides the other day and last night. We hadn't talked on the phone for like 3 weeks. That' not normal for a couple, to almost go an entire month not talking on the phone. That really kind of upset me. I was scared that he was making excuses and that he's doing something behind my back. But you know what? I believe him, I trust him. Also, the two of us have been getting really irritated with each other, getting pissy. But I think we're both stressed, so I'm not gonna let that affect me. Overall, I know things will get better. I just want to see him. But really, Will is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I'm not just saying that. He brightens my day everyday. He keeps me going. He makes me feel good. I just love him to death.
I need to stop drinking so much. It's becoming a problem. It used to be I'd either be sober or drunk out of my mind and black out. There was never an in between. I never knew how to get to that point. I'd just keep on drinking and drinking and then black out, get sick, and be hungover for the entire next day. I don't want to be like that anymore. It's not fun. I want to remember my night and have a good time. And last night I did just that. I was tipsy and I had a good time. Though all my friends were dancing with guys and I was dancing by myself, I still had a good time. You have no idea how proud of myself I am. High five for Kerry! I even wore out heels last night. God that was a huge mistake. Heels fucking kill. Never doing that again.
And on to the one factor in my life we all know I love to talk about, my boyfriend. Things have been back and forth lately. For a while we hardly had time to talk to each other and it kind of put this distance between us. A distance that I really didn't like. Then when we do talk, we never have anything to talk about, yet on the phone and in person we can't stop talking. And oh yeah, the whole phone deal. Besides the other day and last night. We hadn't talked on the phone for like 3 weeks. That' not normal for a couple, to almost go an entire month not talking on the phone. That really kind of upset me. I was scared that he was making excuses and that he's doing something behind my back. But you know what? I believe him, I trust him. Also, the two of us have been getting really irritated with each other, getting pissy. But I think we're both stressed, so I'm not gonna let that affect me. Overall, I know things will get better. I just want to see him. But really, Will is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I'm not just saying that. He brightens my day everyday. He keeps me going. He makes me feel good. I just love him to death.
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